A Personal Perspective
My Experience with Healing and Heilkunst
July, 2006
[Note: This article was written for an audience of Heilkunst patients, students and practitioners, and assumes some familiarity with Heilkunst. Coming soon is a companion piece that will be a gist of the principles of Heilkunst. Meantime, see the article on Healing and Curing.]
I came to Heilkunst almost four years ago, in time for the real healing and curing that all my previous struggle had been leading me to.
As my practitioner, Rudi Verspoor, pointed out from the beginning of treatment, Heilkunst might actually be using many of the same remedies I had tried many times before with homeopathy. But the previous trial and error method, with no real systematic approach, apparently hadn’t made good use of all those potentially useful remedies.
With the “classical” approach to homeopathy, I had many so-called “aggravations” that confirmed to me that the remedies did have some energetic effects. So why weren’t they helping? My understanding now is that those aggravations were really healing reactions, but because they weren’t considered within any meaningful context, they were kind of tossed aside as par-for-the-course discomforts.
Eventually my classical homeopath recommended that I try Vega testing instead, so I did that for a bunch of years too, taking an enormous hodgepodge of remedies. I knew that there was a kernel of truth somewhere in homeopathy, or related to homeopathy, so I kept trying to find it. I certainly held the common thought that “The next Rx might be the one.” Plus I had compelling emotional attachments to kind, compassionate homeopaths! But I guess I was following Hahnemann’s example even when I didn’t know it, as I eventually discontinued the treatment that I knew was wrong, even before I knew of a treatment that was right.
Then, about 10 years later, in 2002, I found Dr. Elmiger’s book, Rediscovering Real Medicine, in which he described a sequential method of treatment that removed the obstaces-to-cure that were responsible for the failure of so many cases. That was a turning point. I emailed him to find out how I could receive treatment, but there only seemed to be one person in the US who was trained by him, and that was too far away. But I kept researching and finally came across Heilkunst.
I read the articles online, and knew that this was the right system to pursue. It turned everything I had previously understood about natural medicine on its ear. Not only did it make sense in a way that no other method or system had before, but it was accessible, affordable, seemingly less complicated and more elegant. And it didn’t require entire cupboards full of remedies to take every day! All the other treatments were a struggle on all those fronts, and after all that, they still amounted to hit-or-miss, shooting in the dark, reinforcing my fear that this earthly existence is completely unfathomable.
After reading Rudi’s articles it occurred to me that the way to overcome my disease was not going to be through the inordinate strain and complicated struggle to make a treatment work. I saw that it would come in an easier way, as the resolution would naturally evolve out of the deeper understanding that Heilkunst could bring. I knew that although I’d still need to put in the effort as always, maybe I didn’t have to fight so hard to penetrate the mystery. Heilkunst was beginning to show me that.
My condition was complicated and seemingly a mystery. I was very destabilized from a lot of trauma, and then had additional insults to injury in terms of allopathic medical trauma. For ten years my life was consumed by the complicated tasks surrounding daily intravenous feedings. I didn’t have enough appetite or digestive capacity to eat enough to sustain myself without that intervention. And that band-aid treatment nearly cost my life when the I-V caused me to go into septic shock.
One could imagine the challenges I faced with a diagnosis of anorexia for 30 years, even when the doctors themselves admitted that I didn’t meet the criteria for that diagnosis! They used it anyway, because it was the best they had… which was just as rational as searching for the lost wallet under the streetlamp when you had really lost it in the dark alley.
I had pursued dozens of natural healing methods relentlessly for many years prior to this, and many of those were valuable. But after years of treatments and therapies with countless practitioners — including all the variations on a theme of homeopathy — none afforded me any improvement with the critical issue.
It took some time with Heilkunst before I began to feel a major shift, which came about nine months into the treatment, and was nothing less than monumental. I began to notice that I wasn’t living in despair anymore. I certainly still experienced feelings of despair and doubt at times, although less and less.
I still had feelings of fear and deep sadness, but my entire relationship to that changed. Even though I experienced the feelings, they didn’t consume me, and I began to notice that I was gaining some perspective and sense of deep stability in the eye of the storm. I was aware of the difficult feelings more as passing visitors and wasn’t so completely hijacked by them anymore.
Then I knew the power of Heilkunst in a personal way that I hadn’t known it before. At about this point I took about a nine-month break from treatment, for reasons only my life force really knows for sure. But when I resumed, it was only some months later that my eating began to improve.
In 2004 the indwelling catheter I used for feedings had to come out — my body’s way of saying it’s time to sink or swim. And in spite of all the fear and doubt, I knew I was going to swim; I just didn’t know exactly how! There were a few scary months in limbo, not being able to eat nor having artificial feeding, but I was beginning to trust the process of recovery. And soon I was eating. In one sense I still don’t know how, but I’m sure that the genius of the remedy does, guided by the truth of the system that knows how to apply them!
The saga continues. I have further to go to treat the cause of my fatigue. A key event on my timeline is coming up soon, and then in a short while I’ll be working on the miasms. But I feel already that my life has been healed. Really, a person can live with fatigue but not without eating. So whatever time it takes to remove the remaining disease, I can say that Heilkunst has already been successful for me on the level of physical survival as well as the deeper sense of stability.
Hypnotherapy training also has been a great help especially in conjunction with the Heilkunst emotional remedies. Actually now I see all the tools I use as working within the scope of Heilkunst.
I’d like to bring out a particular point that I think has made my example something to write home about especially for my family members. I had a very poor prognosis in the conventional sense. Nowhere in the medical literature that I pored over or in any of my doctors’ experience (conventional or otherwise) had anyone seen a case of “atypical” anorexia with all the known causes ruled out. And certainly not much was understood about someone with this kind of condition for 10… 20… 30 years.
I hope this illustrates for others that even in a case where the prognosis is poor and the condition is barely understood, Heilkunst worked beyond the limits of that understanding. And the reality of this cure is something that I know from my own visceral experience. And I’m sure it’s something that other patients as well as the parents of kids being treated will know, because they know their child better than even the most sympathetic “holistic” physician does.
So I hope my example lends some encouragement to others facing mysterious conditions or pigeonholed diagnoses that don’t help to understand and treat the real problem.
With deep gratitude for Rudi, Patty and the whole HCH community, especially Dr. Hahnemann for leading the way!
-Karen Robinson
Student in the DHHP program at Hahnemann College for Heilkunst
10 comments
Hi Karen,
Thank you for sharing your experiences with both Heilkunst and the frustrations of medical labelling etc. I am sorry you have had such a frustrating experience
I was relieved to hear from someone who had complex issues (as i do) and that it takes time to work through this. I have been using the Heilkunst method for almost 7 months and although i have had some times where things felt better, the last 2-3 months have been a living hell. I sometimes feel this isn’t working. I know intellecutually i am at a very difficult point in my timeline and my practitioner is trying her best to sort out the MULTI layers of disease and events that have occured in the last 13 or so years.
I have felt discouraged because of HOW hard it seems to be doing the timeline. You mentioned that it took 9months before you really felt a shift. Did you have times before that when things felt WORSE.?
I hope it is ok to ask you ..i know my case is complex and sometimes when i read Heilkunst entries on the internet (which i do a lot) i feel things for most people seem easier..and that they are feeling better sooner.
thank you so much
and i hope you are continueing to do well
susan main
toronto
Hi Susan,
Thanks for your message! I’m glad you brought up this subject, which tends to be difficult for those of us who have complex issues to work through.
I can say that when I came to Heilkunst, I was ready for something completely revolutionary, not just another one of the multitude of methods. I was starting to realize, although not completely consciously yet, that there had to be some overarching system for understanding the bigger picture - the map. Otherwise I was just shooting in the dark, and I was utterly exhausted from that.
I did have a consistent undercurrent of faith, though, that my spiritual vision would open up in some way that would allow me to understand the larger context for all the struggle. And there was a vague but growing sense of trust that deeper spiritual forces were at work, and that helped me through the trying times.
In the beginning months of Heilkunst treatment, I wasn’t seeing significant progress. But really fairly soon, I had an increasing sense that something important was at work beneath the threshold of my perception. I kept studying the principles of Heilkunst on my own, and talking to my practitioner always helped me to feel supported during those difficult times.
There were those times of doubt and despair and feeling utterly lost. But even in the worst times, my practitioner was able to provide clarity without making any unreasonable promises, and that grounding and support was an enormous help.
At times it can feel like an unrelenting hard grind. But at the same time, somewhere inside me I knew that without treatment, my struggle wouldn’t be any easier. I was beginning to recognize that my true path is just what it is, and no medicine can take away what is rightly mine. What the treatment *can* do is remove the *unnecessary* suffering caused by disease. Mostly we don’t really know which is which, but as the diseases are lifted, the insight we need begins to trickle through.
Sometimes I did feel worse in a sense, and there are moments when you lose all perspective and can only hold onto “This too shall pass.” And then when the moment passes, you begin to see a pattern, that you have gained some wisdom, some sense of being a little more at peace, whatever subtle awareness it is, but you begin to notice these things. And then you know that “feeling worse” is not really an accurate description.
Sometimes the physical problem seems worse, but this time you find yourself a bit stronger in the way that you respond to it. Or you find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster, thinking that you “should” be past that already!.. but this time you find that you’re really not worse for wear as you would have expected. All these subtle things will add up.
It can be like drilling through a thick wall - you only have a few hints of progress for a long time, if you’re on the other side of the wall. Although the progress is definitely being made, and it’s only a matter of time until it will come through to where you can see it overtly.
Heilkunst doesn’t require faith in some abstract notion of healing, because the principles it’s based on are grounded in the laws of nature, which we can know. That’s why it helped me so much to study at the same time that I was being treated, so that I could connect with an understanding of what the remedies were doing, in a more grounded way than just believing in them.
Do you have an interest in studying Heilkunst formally? The Homeopathy at Home, Work and Play is a terrific course - even though it focuses on treatment for acute problems, it really covers the basic principles of Heilkunst, and could be a good support for anyone going through treatment.
Some people don’t have a particular interest in this kind of learning, and it’s not necessary for everyone.. but for those who feel drawn to the process of understanding this comprehensive system, there are many ways for people to tap into the material.
I’m now in the full-time practitioner training program, and never would have thought I could do this, even just a few years ago. So sometimes time seems to be going too slowly, and then in retrospect it’s a very different feeling.
I hope this helps! All the best to you in your curing/healing process, and Happy new year!
-Karen
Hi Karen,
Wow.thank you for such a great response.. you said things EXACTLY as i realize i already knew/hoped to be true but again, just needed that reassurance of it. I appreciate this very much
In fact i HAVE been reading lots of information about Heilkunst right now, and have thought i would LOVE to study it so you were right on about that too. I find this method of healing/curing fascinating (i have always found the subject of healing and the human condition to be big interest of mine anyway)..thank you for the tip on the Home Work and Play course..is this thru the Hanneman centre? (i don’t know if you are in canada or the states?……….i will look it up on the internet.
one of the many conditions i have is extreme fatigue (including very limited mental energy/comprehension) but i do have times when i can read and focus so it is then that i am looking up lots of Heilkunst entries..
so studying formally may have to wait a bit longer until i have a bit more energy but i am hopeful..as you did, i rely on my practitioner for a lot of support and guidance which is very helpful..its great however to connect with others who are doing Heilkunst as i know of no-one else who is going thru the process..(sometimes i think i am losing it a bit anyway with what i experience)..
hope you are enjoying the program! maybe one day i will also be able to consider it!!!!!
karen, thank you so much again for getting back to me..it has helped me a great deal today..
susan
Hi Susan,
I\’m in Rochester, NY, not that far from you :). And I\’m very glad my impressions hit the mark for you.
About study, I recently posted here about the Home, Work and Play course - http://www.guideforselfhealing.com/2006/09/21/study-homeopathy-and-heilkunst/
It is through the Hahnemann Center/College for Heilkunst, and can be done long-distance. You get assigned a tutor (we call them teaching assistants here :), and you hand in written work via email. There are study exercises to help you articulate what you\’re learning, and the tutor is really just to help you grasp the material rather than to grade you.
I\’ve been dealing with fatigue for many years, but for me the desire to study almost overcompensates :). Studying in any capacity with HCH, you would find that the curriculum is completely accommodating to your own needs, and you can take it at whatever pace you need.
And being in treatment, you already have a familiarity with some of the principles, so you\’d have a good head-start.
You never know how things develop in ways you never would have anticipated
Take care!
Karen
Hi Karen,
HAPPY NEW YEAR (i also replied to your email re the group) so maybe we could correspond that way from now on ie our email addresses proper)
i WILL check out the course and trust i will know when/how/if etc ..i have to PACE in my healing and be careful as my default is to do more than my physical/mental body is ready for (coz then it crashes) and i get discouraged.. its almost like my being is saying NO MORE EXTERNAL DEMANDS I COME FIRST!!)
thats a hard one to always know/follow given the endlessness of my days (don’t work, kind of live like a hermit but feel maybe ready to inch towards ….who knows what
i do believe in magic so ..i am putting it out there (hey and look, we have connected.) thats cool
hope you enjoyed any celebrations..
take care too
susan
Hi Karen..
i am writing you here because i somehow have lost your email address already..
i just tried to post an entry on the heilkunst chat line but was told i was not a member..i have been able to read the entries before so i assume i am “signed up” ..after i wrote my entry i sent it and it said it would be posted in a few minutes but then it told me i am not a member..then it didn’t like my password when i tried to enter the system again, and when i tried to re-enter one it got all screwed up..
sorry to bother you but could you advise me as to what the problem might be??
hope you are well and doing ok in the course
susan
Hi Karen,
I remember reading somewhere about you using EFT technique and my spiritual practitioner(joan) has also suggested it…i downloaded the instructions and feel i would like to seriously try it (i am desperate right now and in the grips of such painful emotions mostly to do with anxiety/fear where i feel i can’t even go out of my apartment..this theme is about comparing myself to others CONSTANTLY and never feeling good enough…this is literally a lifelong mind pattern and its been during my Heilkunst treatment that it has become WORSE (this is the worse before it gets better concern/question..) which i get reassurance about from Ansley but then i lose it again…..this is when i start feeling that Heilkunst isn’t working for me..but somehow i know it IS the right path…
do you think EFT could help with this comparing/low self esteem
any other suggestions?
trying to hang on
susan
Hi Susan,
EFT is a terrific technique, and can be used in very creative ways - I’m not sure which instructions you’re looking at, but it’s not necessary to do a long routine, and you only really need to know about 7 or 8 points. You can just start tapping anytime you feel in the grips of an emotion. It becomes second nature to just start tapping, and the results are very quick.
EFT is only a band-aid treatment, though. It’s great for helping to get more perspective when feelings seem to be “hijacking” you. And for that it’s very useful. That can be enough for some people when the problem is more superficial. But for many people, the roots of these problems lie deeper, and need to be removed with the dynamized remedies that are specifically targeted, which I’m sure you’re getting from your Heilkunst practitioner.
Heilkunst is really about removing the obstacles to our expressing who we truly are. That sounds great - who wouldn’t want that? But we have this false self, the false ego, which feels threatened by that. As we get healthier, it’s like a part of us is dying - not any part that we really need! But a part that is trying to hang on, nonetheless.
So usually it’s that false self that puts up a fight, and then it can feel like your foot is on the gas pedal and the break at the same time. Consciously we want to be free of our problems, naturally, but unconsciously there are usually these other influences.
With Heilkunst treatment, you’re removing those obstacles layer by layer, and the body/mind has to process the changes and regroup (the healing reaction), which is sometimes an uncomfortable experience. The false ego used to give us a sense of protection, a false sense of safety, and as that is (gently) being stripped away, we need some time to adjust to the healthier conditions.
This is all just a very general overview, of course, because only your practitioner will know more precisely what diseases (as defined by Heilkunst) are involved in your case.
But there are ways to moderate the remedies if you feel you’re getting too much of a healing reaction, and your practitioner will be able to guide you through that. Rudi has always told me that the process is like rowing a boat across a river - you have to move forward, but doing that can create a lot of turbulence, and then you have to stop a bit and just concentrate on stabilizing the boat. Then you pick up again.
There are many things that can help support you through this process - EFT is one, and I would also recommend other hypnotherapy methods like Core Transformation by Connirae Andreas. TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique) is also great.
I’m sure that your Heilkunst practitioner is covering the medical side well, but if you need more personal guidance with these supportive methods, I could do email consults. They’re very doable on one’s own but some extra guidance can help get the most out of them.
Believe me, those moments of doubt as to whether the treatment is working, is very common. But you’ll start noticing that even though you’re upset on the surface, there’s a deep inner core that feels stronger - even if it’s just in a subtle way. And it can take time before that starts to grow.
If you have any interest in studying Heilkunst in order to learn more about how the process works in terms of your own treatment, I’d highly recommend the short course given by the HCH - see my post called Study Homeopathy and Heilkunst (on the home page, bottom right of the sidebar). I found it helped enormously to better understand the principles that the treatment is based on.
Take care,
Karen
Hi Karen..
thanks you so much for that..i agree, my sense is that EFT (and other techniques) are good as one goes thru this but ultimately, not THE solution..i am feeling hijacked right now
..and you mentioned the part about our layers of disease being removed and the false self putting up a fight..is THAT why the mental states/issues seem worse? (i think i already know the answer is yes)
…(ansley reminds me i have inherited HUGE syphyillinum mental energy as well as other stuff etc. so i KNOW that this must get addressed with the remedies..she has been pacing me..and i feel supported that way..
i wll give the EFT a try (part of me isnt sure what phrase to use along with the tapping) . (i guess one has to repeat it constantly) including the rolling of the eyes part…although you said maybe the tapping is enough which is more motivating if i think it is small quick easy..
I do believ i am going to study Heilkunst (sooner than later) ..just have to time this right..
thank you so much Karen ..
i will be in touch..(this email helped me a lot today..)
susan
Hi Susan,
Oops, now I realize I had already mentioned the homeopathy course to you :). I talk to a lot of people about it, hard to keep things straight!
Syph is very common - I\’ve still got lots of it, but the healing power of the body keeps bringing it up so we get lots of opportunities to keep chipping away at it :). These things can be rooted very deeply, but fortunately we can get some stability and sense of relief along the way, although how and when that happens is so individual.
As a student of Heilkunst, and not knowing your particular case from a practitioner\’s perspective, I couldn\’t say exactly what your mental/emotional sysmptoms are related to. But my thoughts about the false self are pretty universal and I think you\’ll know how that applies to you :).
I\’d really encourage you to keep posting on the HCHPatientChat group - it\’s a vey small group, private, and I\\\’m sure everyone there can relate to what you\’re talking about.
Hope you have a good weekend!
Karen
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